Has our relationship come to this? Years upon years of feeding you via free trips to my compost pile -- full of delicacies like split tomatoes, cucumber peels, carrot tops, lettuce ends, even dandelion sprigs -- and you repay my kindness with chomping the heads off my flowers?
And not just any flowers. My favorites. The pansies, the violets, the petunias, even the snapdragons. I submit the following for evidence:
Do you see what you have done? The beheaded stalks, left to sway topless in the wind? All the poor, delicate, beautiful little purple (almost blue, and we all know how hard that is to come by in nature) and yellow flowers, all now resting in the acids of your rodent-like tummies.
I know. I called you rodent-like. But let's be clear. Cuddly, fluffy Peter Rabbits you are not.
Do you want to see what an unadulterated (unabunnyerated?) flower looks like? Take a gander:
Of course, I sprayed this one with some lovely rabbit/deer repellant. The smell was charmingly organic, and it seemed to deter you, especially when combined with the pepper. I thought I had done both to the pansies in question above. Apparently not.
Don't push me. If you persist in attacking my children, I will begin attacking yours. Know what my college nickname was?
The Coyote-Whisperer (a.k.a., Simone Wasserman)
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